More Pictures of Lydia

Lydia Kate is here!

December 30, 2008
12:55 PM

7 pounds, 2.1 ounces

19 3/4 inches

Alicia and Lydia are doing fine (though Lydia screamed for almost the first hour straight before calming down). Jeremy and Kyra are excited and proud! More updates will come when Alicia gets home (I assume). ~ Joelle

No Christmas Miracle Here, Folks

Well? There was no Christmas miracle here. I'm still pregnant. Damn that Santa and his not giving me what I asked for...

As for the rest of our Christmas, things around here went splendidly well! Kyra greeted Jer and myself at 7am beaming with excitement and exclaiming in the most rushed tone ever, "I didn't see him but Santa left a house and a bicycle!" She was truly the most excited little thing I've ever seen in my life.
Her new bicycle has been one of the great hits this season. It also comes in a close tie with the three tubes of chapstick that was left in her stalking.
And the cap guns that Santa also stuffed into her and Jeremy's stalkings. Although, I think Jer was certainly more excited over this present.
For each bike ride, Jer loads his gun with a new round of caps. Kyra loads her bike with her "Monster Goon that I'm going to pile the monsters with" (translated: monster gun that she's going to pow the monsters with), a baby or her puppy, and a tube of chapstick.
See the orange cap sticking out from just under the baby? That's her Monster Gun. She will ride down the way, stopping at random times to shoot a monster, replace her gun and then apply her chapstick. Always in that order. And about 400,000 times within one bike ride around the block.

The only thing Kyra seemed disappointed about was that Santa didn't bring Lydia a toy box. Seriously. She remembered her simple request to the big man and she didn't accept the explanation that Jer and I mustered when trying to explain that Santa only brings gifts to children who are already born. She still pouted. But I think she'll get over it. I hope.

In other news.... I only have a day and a half left until they yank this damned little termite out of my uterus. I think by 4pm Monday, I'll be counting down the hours. And by noon on Tuesday, I just might switch to counting down the minutes. And maybe, just maybe, by 3pm on Tuesday- I'll count down the seconds. I'll just have to get Jer to find me some program to convert all that information for me real quick.

It'll add to Jeremy's whole thought process that I'm losing my mind. Seriously, he thinks there is something wrong with me because I've been having him dusting everything from furniture to magic erasing marks off of the walls. Some people call this the nesting stage. I call this People will be coming to my house to see the wee little babe and I'm not going to have the energy to pick up and vacuum before they come over, much less dust and spot clean, so we might as well get that out of the way now. Jer is completely clueless to this logic.

Hey, ya'll! I'm having my innards ripped out in less then 48 hours and I'm excited. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?

'Twas the Eve Before Christmas Eve

It's the second year in a row that Jeremy has duty on Christmas day. (duty, for non Navy folk, means he has to stay 24 strait hours on the boat) Instead of having to wake up super early on the 25th, we have talked to old Santa Clause, himself, and invited him to stop by tonight. He has been so kind and agreed. That makes today prep day.

Cookies were prepared:
Sampled, during the preparations, of course!
Baked and decorated:
And, finally, plated.
Santa and his reindeer will be all set for the special trip they're making to our house tonight.

Kyra is excited. Thrilled, actually.

I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Exciting Times 'Round Here, I'll Tell You What....

Friday marked a big day for Kyra. We honored her request to go see Santa. As you may remember from last year's experience, things did not go over so well. We did get a gorgeous picture out of it, though.

This year certainly lacked last year's drama. Kyra calmly waited in line until it was her turn and when that time came around she RAN to Santa and clamored onto his lap. Apparently she's no longer afraid.

Wanna know the sweetest part of this year's Santa experience? The only thing she asked Santa for was a toy box for Lydia. All together now..... Awww! How sweet!
The next exciting thing that happened to us came today. I had my 38 week check up. Not only have I lost 4 pounds (go me!) but apparently the Termite has suddenly stopped growing according to the highly trusted system of measuring my belly from my boobs to my ahem. These two things combined earned me the excitement of being shoved on over to the ultrasound tech to get some new measurements on the baby and a check on the fluid in the sack.

Everything turned out to be fabulous in the end. There is no explanation for the weight loss (possible miss weight from the scale 2 weeks ago?) but the reason the Termite measured small was because she has shifted from head down to completely sideways. Apparently I don't need to go into labor after all since she can't come out folded in half. With that said, unless she turns back to the head down position, we'll be delivering c-section no matter what. The fun news is they estimate her weight as of today to be 6lbs 3oz. Significantly smaller then Kyra's birth weight of 8lbs 5oz. I'm not certain exactly what I'll do with a normal sized baby... guess I'll have to wait one more week to find out her actual size. Though this bit of inside knowledge does make it all kinds of fun and exciting.

We did get a new picture out of the deal:
Supposedly there is a face in this photo. I have yet to see it but Jer and the ultra sound tech swear it's there. I think they're both just lying to me and it's probably nothing more then a picture of my empty stomach as it was early in the morning and I hadn't had breakfast.

What do you guys see?

Clearly My Friends Know and Love Me

Not only are they planning to keep me warm when I'm out in the elements, but they are also covering such things as making sure my belly has that warm fuzzy feeling with a mixed bunch of caffeine free herbal tea flavors- to cover my last days of pregnancy- and a box of chai spice tea (mmm... chai!)- for after the Termite is delivered- to go in my new, twice the size that I already own, 16oz tea mug. Now I only have to make one cup of tea each morning instead of two! This truly makes me happy...
Oh! And also, for my impending birthday coming up, I have some super yummy home. made. chocolate peppermint bark to feast on from yet another superb friend. And let me tell you, there is no better way to get to my heart then breaking out some homemade chocolaty goodness to go with my hot tea for breakfast.
Yes, I said breakfast. To each her own. Stop judging me. Besides, you're just jealous my friends are better then yours.

All I Want for Christmas is a Scarf for My Neck

Hey! Look what this awesome Chick With Sticks sent Kyra and myself for Christmas!

Now I feel all kinds of slack'ish. All she got from me was a Christmas card and Christmas photo of Kyra.

THANKS LINDSEY!

Pregnant, Burning in Hell and Ice Skating. Not at the Same Time.

So I've had several requests to see a picture of me pregnant. How's this?

Not what you were hoping for? Just look at my round face. Now look at the picture in the top left there... see it? Similar pose with Kyra, again in black and white? Notice how much "fuller" my face appears to be? Now picture my mid region in a similar situation. There. That's it! Now you have a picture of me, pregnant. Happy?

So the other day at church Kyra watched me take the Eucharist and asked what I was eating. I told her it was the body of Christ. She proceeded to ask several more questions about when she can eat Christ too. I know, it just sounds so wrong to say it like that. Anyway, so after explaining to her that she has to be a bit older before she can partake in such actions she then turns to me in all sadness and seriousness and says she doesn't want to eat Christ because He's too spicy. Apparently she is her fathers child.... seems to think she's going to get burned with that first taste!

But, anyway, I caught her sleeping like this last night and decided He must be with her. Why else would she latch her feet between the bars, arms stretched to each side, held down by Tinkerbell, who is clapping her hands say "Come on! You, too, can jump on the Jesus bandwagon!" Its all symbolic, you just gotta look at it for a moment.

Jer took Krya ice skating over the weekend. She's been taking lessons for the last 8 weeks and since she started lessons she's only been on the ice with Jer just once. I tried to get a good picture of her darting around on the ice, but the problem was my fat ass was not about to get on skates to follow her and from the sidelines, her darting was not working well for picture taking purposes. The best shot I got was Kyra laughing hysterically at Jer and he is, in turn, mocking her. Though it looks like they're trying to eat each other.
Oh, and you guys should totally run back and check out this video. Did you watch it? Now look at the one below. She is pulling her coach on the ice. What I wasn't able to get on camera was Kyra bunny hopping across the ice- while skating is in motion. I'm not certain how well I could accomplish that.

Today, being the last day for this session, was evaluation day. Kyra has moved from Beginning Tots 1 to Beginning Tots 3. In eight weeks. Her coach says she's a natural. We're able to fit in one more session before moving to the Artic Tundra of the north, I wonder just what she'll be doing by the time she finished with that session.

At least we're getting our money's worth out of this über expensive hobby.

No Baby Here. Just Children Who Need a Good Beating.

Oh, hey there! Nope, no baby here. My uterus apparently doesn't love me. But that's okay. I think I may have finally learned to accept it. All though, give me a hormonal mood swing and I may retract that statement but for now, I'm accepting the fact that I will never get to experience shoving a kid out the natural way.

It's not for lack of trying- don't get me wrong. The hot showers are not working. Neither are the cups of magical herbal tea or Evening Primrose Oil slathered in my nether regions. Oh! But I did buy another pineapple yesterday, per Kyra's request, but I'm sure I'll be eating close to half of it. Even though the last two pineapples did absolutely nothing, maybe this third one will be the lucky one?

The only slightly exciting thing that happened so far was when I was wondering around various stores today I could feel some unexpected pressure in my pelvic region. All I could think was, that's it, Lydia, keep on movin' down. Other then that... nothing.

********************************

In other news, have you ever wanted to take a wooden spoon to two separate brats in one day?

Get this, Friday morning at Kyra's gymnastics classes there is this 5 year old who just started the class 2 weeks ago. Lets just say she's a big 'ol girl- could use a bit of exercise in her life, especially since she's 5. And slightly overweight. Not only is she significantly larger vertically and horizontally then the rest of the 2-4 year olds in there, but she's also a bully who likes to throw temper tantrums that you might expect from the 2 and 3 year old variety.

Friday she had decided that she needed to be first in line for everything even though Kyra's teacher is really good at making the kids take turns and remembering what kid may have fallen out of line or got skipped- even those kids are sure to still receive the same number of tries on each apparatus.

Anyway, any time the younger kids would wonder in this particular child's direction and she thought they were going to "cut" her in line she proceeded to stiff arm them, call them a "cutter" and proceed to push them out of her way. Oh, and then make faces at which ever child she's taking her anger out on. And when the gymnastics coach would scold her and tell her she doesn't like to see such behavior in her gym, the 5 year old would proceed in wining, fussing and stomping her feet.

Her mother? Was too busy telling the other parents what a child prodigy she has on her hands because, apparently, her 5 year old can read at a 5th and 6th grade level. Swell. But can she act her age? Mmm.... Nope.

Then, come Friday night Jer and I had a Christmas party to attend for the boat. You all should be so very proud of me because I actually left Kyra with a babysitter. And not just any old babysitter, but a 16 year old who had been hired by the boat and I had never met before.

Whoosh, talk about letting go for a few hours...

So there was this poor babysitter who I didn't trust to begin with, left with 6 children she had never met before, in a hotel room with no planned activities to keep the children entertained with. Good thing I asked Jer to help Kyra pack a back of extra clothes and toys, just in case.

In my non trusting state, I made Jeremy call and check up on Kyra once and a couple hours after that sent him on over to the hotel (which was right across the street) to physically see that everything was still going well. In between those two cases of Jer and I keeping track of Kyra, the babysitter gave the person in charge of hiring her a phone call to say one of the other children were giving her a hard time.

However, apparently nothing was done about it because when Jer and I arrived to pick Kyra up at the end of the night the poor girl had a look of exhaustion and desperation on her face. Not the look you want to see from the person watching your child...

I guess the child she had called about was not listening to a word she said, was completely running a muck and to top it off smacked one of the other children at least once when Jeremy was in the room checking on things earlier that night.

By the time I got there I immediately took charge and started ordering the children to help pick up Kyra's toys and a set of books one of the other parents brought. You know, the standard clean up the mess you made before you leave this room, routine.

The rotten child proceeded to ignore me and when I attempted to take a toy from his hands (as I thought he was bringing it to me to begin with) he snatched it away and took off in the other direction. Ya. Lets try that one with Mrs. Alicia- the lady who all children seem to instantly know does not play when it comes to clean up time.

So I proceeded to inform the child that it was clean up time and his actions were not appreciated and he needed to help.

Long story a bit shorter, the kid was an absolute brat who clearly gets to run amok when he damn well pleases. By the time his mother arrived I had already forced him to sit in time out until he could not only sit but sit quietly until he was given permission to get up, then apologize to the babysitter for being such a horrid little brat and then I had to pick him up and place him on the couch to lay down (a feat the babysitter had been struggling with for 2 solid hours).

His mother then walked into the room and made some excuse as to his behavior. Something about bringing the dog to the room to help keep him in line... I didn't get it, but whatever. I casually walked past informing her what she should have brought was a wooden spoon to beat the child's ass. She said nothing.

I called my mother Saturday telling her about the children we encountered the day before. She pointed out it was because of parents like this, the ones who don't know how to teach their children discipline, who give television a reason to air such common sense shows as Nanny 911 and Super Nanny.

I am often amazed when Kyra gets such wonderful compliments on her behavior and how well she listens and follows directions. With the comments, most people also turn it around and ask how it is I get her to behave so well in public. I inform anyone who asks that I beat her once a day whether she needs it or not. And while this may not be entirely true, Kyra knows how to act because I teach her manners. At home and out. And no matter where we are the punishment is the same- if you're rude, not listening or overall acting out you get a spanking. No warning, no questions asked. She knows what is expected of her, when going into new situations we run over exactly how we are to behave and why, and if she messes up, she also knows the consequences.

Really, what happened to a quick swat on the butt and children know exactly where their place should be and how to behave? And not even that, really, but over all discipline? Neither one of these two children had any clue as to what the word "no" meant.

Good thing that will never be either one of my children. Not so long as I'm the one raising them, anyway.

3 Weeks and Counting Down

Dearest Lydia,

Today I had my 36 week appointment. Not that it was much news to me, but it was confirmed that you are now head down, way down. In fact, the doctor was quite surprised how well you've managed to wedge yourself into my pelvis. Me? Not so surprised. I'm just hoping that hearing it from the doc's perspective reiterates the fact to your father that, no, in fact I can not bend in half to put my own shoes on without having to either contort myself or cut off my own oxygen supply. He seems to think I'm exaggerating such nonsense.

We also found out that my blood pressure is elevated. Nothing dangerous, just higher than my previous 8 month standards. This earned me the right to lay on my left side for 15 minutes while I waited for them to come back and retake my BP. Nothing changed. I'm crossing my fingers that this may mean you too are becoming more stressed in there and will be forcing your way out sooner rather then later. The doc said nothing about that but I can have hope.

My dear, you have 3 weeks to vacate yourself from my uterus or else we are coming in after you. December 30th at 4pm, that's the time at which we will be using deliberate force to bring you into this world.

Believe me, I am hoping beyond hope that you come sooner then that. Tomorrow will be nice. Or even if you decide to jump on out this Friday, so I don't have to dress my fat ass up for the boat's Christmas party, that will work well, too.

No matter when or how you choose to make your appearance in this world, just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and, for that, Mommy is eternally grateful. As I'm sure you are all warm and comfy in there, I'm done. And knowing that there is now a set and scheduled date for you to be extricated, I am suddenly less stressed. At least for the moment.

So, my lovely child, the ball is now in your court. December 30th. That's it. You get to freeload no longer. I see the light. I'm well aware the light is powered by a speeding train but I don't care. December 30th. December 30th. December 30th...

How I Spent My Friday Afternoon

So, ya'll, my sweet and kind and incredibly romantic husband *ahem* planned an actual surprise date for just the two of us last week. Babysitter for Kyra and all!

Except that, well, Kyra kinda got a case of the 24 vomit virus. And then followed that with 24 hours of coughing up a lung and streaming phlegm from her nose bug. It was really spectacular timing, I tell ya.

When Jer informed me this past Thursday night that Friday we had a date to go see the movie Australia, I began to hold my breath. Surly Kyra was going to come up with some reason she couldn't be left in the care of others. That would only be natural, right? But she didn't come down with the plague or contract any rogue virus and Jer and I were thrilled when she slept in until 9am Friday morning and even then woke up happy as a June Bug.

I think the Heavens above just might have been smiling down upon us.

We looked up movie times, found one that would work wonderfully for us, 'n then noticed that the movie was nearly 3 hours long. Probably longer, counting the 45 minutes of previews most theaters feel they need to show now'a days. There is no way I can possibly sit that long through anything, much less in a theater that doesn't have reclining seats, a foot rest for my swollen feet or arm rests that raise so maybe I could create my own reclined, foot rest position. We switched our choice of movies over to 4 Christmases.

I swear to God that is one of the best movies I've seen all year. But then again, the only thing I've seen in the theaters this year has been animated and geared towards children.

It was a nice date. Several hours alone, with out the heathen- who was an absolute peach for the babysitter who asked if we could trade children- and I got to actually hold hands with my husband; a rare treat now that Kyra is all about squashing any type of outward show of romance between the two of us.

It was a nice date. Very much enjoyed.

I look back and think that when I first woke up yesterday morning I was truly hoping Kyra would be sick or grumpy and we would have to cancel our date, yet again, because I felt guilty for having to leave Kyra in the care of someone else. But she didn't, so we didn't, and I'm glad and grateful for wonderful friends who offer- without hesitation- to watch Kyra so Jer and I can have a little romance.

I can't help but wonder how long it will be before we have another date. I desperately want to see Australia while it's still in theaters, I just don't know that I can sit still for that long. Maybe Lydia will come soon, and then, maybe then, I'll be able to sit for more then 30 minutes at a time without having to find a new seating positing. I guess only time will tell...

Happy Holidays- A Constipating Ordeal

It has been an annoying ordeal in taking Kyra's holiday pictures this year, to say the least. Every year we hop over to Sears Portrait Studio where we are loyal customers and big fans of the great pictures they take of our little girl.

Up and until this year, we have never walked out of the studio with less then stellar comments and having spent more money then planned. This time around, we came out of the studio with pictures like this:
And this one:
That look of constipation in those two shots are just darling, aren't they? **insert eye roll here**

And for some reason, no one working that particular day could understand why the only picture taken that day we enjoyed was this one:
So I did what I normally do. I hopped on the computer and wrote my opinion when asked for it on the section of the receipt that asked for comments and opinions. Usually I write wonderful reviews about how fun and easy our experience was. This year I wrote about how horrible the pictures were, how the photographer didn't listen to a word I said about how to work with Kyra (who tends to clam up and act all shy and timid around certain strangers), and finally how when we got to preview our pictures I repeated over and over again about how much I didn't like any of them.

Even the above picture was not that great at first. It was taken horizontally at such an angle that I hate the fact you would automatically turn your head when looking at it. They cropped it vertically and was able to turn it ever so slightly to make it look a little less cockeyed.

What resulted was the ability to shoot several more frames. After talking with the manager of the studio it was obvious she was only swallowing her own pride and doing this to make me happy after having me give such a terrible review of her employees.

I was informed by her that it was my fault Kyra's first set of photos didn't turn out because we scheduled her on a Saturday. Apparently when scheduling your appointments on the weekend one should be aware that they can. not. give you more then 15 minutes in the studio or else they would be backed up for hours by the end of the day and if I wanted more time to focus on us, then, well, I should have booked it for a weekday. Shame on me for not knowing we would be shafted on a Saturday morning, one hour after they opened. If they had informed me of this when making the appointment, then, well, it would have been absolutely no problem in scheduling a better time frame. One where they would take the time to work with us and make the whole experience more personal.

Either way, I got new pictures of my darling little girl. And this time, instead of being shoved in and out of the studio in 15 minutes, the photographer (who was the exact same person as the first time) managed to listen to me and my wishes. It was a much more pleasant experience.
She may not be smiling with teeth showing in any of the new pictures, but at least she doesn't have the look of sitting on the toilet, constipated, plastered all over her face.
And the lack of a constipated look on her face, better posing, and actually taking the time to work with us makes me very happy.

Hope your holiday season has started out with a little less shit then ours has!

End of an Era...

Or so I'm hoping.

You see. I'm as large as the broad side of a barn. And in noticing this these past few weeks, it now comes as no surprise to me because I'm hungry all. the. fucking. time. Generally its a common thought that when you've begun eating the entire contents of the refrigerator... you're going to to get fat. Quickly.

Breakfast- I force myself to eat.
Lunch- usually either skipped or is very light.
Snack- makes up for the slack during lunch time.
Dinner- FULL PLATE.
Dessert- might as well be another meal in itself.
11 o'clock munchies- why in the hell am I still starving to death?
3am pee break- seriously, I am not going to get something to eat at this hour because I'll never get back to sleep. But damn am I still hungry.
Breakfast- do I seriously have to eat breakfast?

It is because of this awful eating habit I can no longer see my feet. I also can't seem to keep my belly covered with any maternity shirt that claims to be a medium. I like to claim it has much more to do with the fact that all my medium shirts have all-of-a-sudden shrunk length wise and has absolutely nothing to do with my enormous eating abilities between the hours of noon and 3am. Although this shrinking shirt theory could also be linked to the fact that the Termite has apparently decided to drop as my belly does not seem to be encroaching on the boobies' space anymore.

The OB said last week that I am past the point of stopping labor should my body decide to truly love me and go a little early. Knowing this, I'm hoping maybe my dropping belly and engorged eating habits may be a sign that I'll be going a bit early.

With Kyra I started eating everything in sight about two weeks prior to and my belly dropped 3 days before D-Day. I'm crossing my eyes, fingers and toes hoping maybe these are signs. Maybe my body truly loves me and will pop within the next few days/weeks.

But then again, I know better; Kyra was estimated to be 2-3 weeks late when she finally came into the world. Knowing that, I'm certain my body has no idea what the term "labor" really means until every millimeter of space is fully occupied by the fetus and, with that, I am also certain there are still a few more centimeters here and there. I have no doubt I won't be throwing my legs in the air to push any time soon.

So I guess there is nothing else to do but continue to get fatter by eating everything in sight. Maybe if my stomach gets engorged enough with food, my uterus will have no other choice but to push the expendable fetus out into the world.

Until that happens, any other ideas as to how I could induce labor naturally? Lets just go ahead and take sex and laxatives off the table. Can we come up with something a little less traumatic?