No Baby Here. Just Children Who Need a Good Beating.

Oh, hey there! Nope, no baby here. My uterus apparently doesn't love me. But that's okay. I think I may have finally learned to accept it. All though, give me a hormonal mood swing and I may retract that statement but for now, I'm accepting the fact that I will never get to experience shoving a kid out the natural way.

It's not for lack of trying- don't get me wrong. The hot showers are not working. Neither are the cups of magical herbal tea or Evening Primrose Oil slathered in my nether regions. Oh! But I did buy another pineapple yesterday, per Kyra's request, but I'm sure I'll be eating close to half of it. Even though the last two pineapples did absolutely nothing, maybe this third one will be the lucky one?

The only slightly exciting thing that happened so far was when I was wondering around various stores today I could feel some unexpected pressure in my pelvic region. All I could think was, that's it, Lydia, keep on movin' down. Other then that... nothing.

********************************

In other news, have you ever wanted to take a wooden spoon to two separate brats in one day?

Get this, Friday morning at Kyra's gymnastics classes there is this 5 year old who just started the class 2 weeks ago. Lets just say she's a big 'ol girl- could use a bit of exercise in her life, especially since she's 5. And slightly overweight. Not only is she significantly larger vertically and horizontally then the rest of the 2-4 year olds in there, but she's also a bully who likes to throw temper tantrums that you might expect from the 2 and 3 year old variety.

Friday she had decided that she needed to be first in line for everything even though Kyra's teacher is really good at making the kids take turns and remembering what kid may have fallen out of line or got skipped- even those kids are sure to still receive the same number of tries on each apparatus.

Anyway, any time the younger kids would wonder in this particular child's direction and she thought they were going to "cut" her in line she proceeded to stiff arm them, call them a "cutter" and proceed to push them out of her way. Oh, and then make faces at which ever child she's taking her anger out on. And when the gymnastics coach would scold her and tell her she doesn't like to see such behavior in her gym, the 5 year old would proceed in wining, fussing and stomping her feet.

Her mother? Was too busy telling the other parents what a child prodigy she has on her hands because, apparently, her 5 year old can read at a 5th and 6th grade level. Swell. But can she act her age? Mmm.... Nope.

Then, come Friday night Jer and I had a Christmas party to attend for the boat. You all should be so very proud of me because I actually left Kyra with a babysitter. And not just any old babysitter, but a 16 year old who had been hired by the boat and I had never met before.

Whoosh, talk about letting go for a few hours...

So there was this poor babysitter who I didn't trust to begin with, left with 6 children she had never met before, in a hotel room with no planned activities to keep the children entertained with. Good thing I asked Jer to help Kyra pack a back of extra clothes and toys, just in case.

In my non trusting state, I made Jeremy call and check up on Kyra once and a couple hours after that sent him on over to the hotel (which was right across the street) to physically see that everything was still going well. In between those two cases of Jer and I keeping track of Kyra, the babysitter gave the person in charge of hiring her a phone call to say one of the other children were giving her a hard time.

However, apparently nothing was done about it because when Jer and I arrived to pick Kyra up at the end of the night the poor girl had a look of exhaustion and desperation on her face. Not the look you want to see from the person watching your child...

I guess the child she had called about was not listening to a word she said, was completely running a muck and to top it off smacked one of the other children at least once when Jeremy was in the room checking on things earlier that night.

By the time I got there I immediately took charge and started ordering the children to help pick up Kyra's toys and a set of books one of the other parents brought. You know, the standard clean up the mess you made before you leave this room, routine.

The rotten child proceeded to ignore me and when I attempted to take a toy from his hands (as I thought he was bringing it to me to begin with) he snatched it away and took off in the other direction. Ya. Lets try that one with Mrs. Alicia- the lady who all children seem to instantly know does not play when it comes to clean up time.

So I proceeded to inform the child that it was clean up time and his actions were not appreciated and he needed to help.

Long story a bit shorter, the kid was an absolute brat who clearly gets to run amok when he damn well pleases. By the time his mother arrived I had already forced him to sit in time out until he could not only sit but sit quietly until he was given permission to get up, then apologize to the babysitter for being such a horrid little brat and then I had to pick him up and place him on the couch to lay down (a feat the babysitter had been struggling with for 2 solid hours).

His mother then walked into the room and made some excuse as to his behavior. Something about bringing the dog to the room to help keep him in line... I didn't get it, but whatever. I casually walked past informing her what she should have brought was a wooden spoon to beat the child's ass. She said nothing.

I called my mother Saturday telling her about the children we encountered the day before. She pointed out it was because of parents like this, the ones who don't know how to teach their children discipline, who give television a reason to air such common sense shows as Nanny 911 and Super Nanny.

I am often amazed when Kyra gets such wonderful compliments on her behavior and how well she listens and follows directions. With the comments, most people also turn it around and ask how it is I get her to behave so well in public. I inform anyone who asks that I beat her once a day whether she needs it or not. And while this may not be entirely true, Kyra knows how to act because I teach her manners. At home and out. And no matter where we are the punishment is the same- if you're rude, not listening or overall acting out you get a spanking. No warning, no questions asked. She knows what is expected of her, when going into new situations we run over exactly how we are to behave and why, and if she messes up, she also knows the consequences.

Really, what happened to a quick swat on the butt and children know exactly where their place should be and how to behave? And not even that, really, but over all discipline? Neither one of these two children had any clue as to what the word "no" meant.

Good thing that will never be either one of my children. Not so long as I'm the one raising them, anyway.