Greetings! From the Artic Tundra of the North

We've arrived safe and sound in the Artic Tundra. And while we all arrived safe, sadly, Bird passed away during our first night in our new house. Apparently the stress of the move was just too much for him. Lets all pause for a moment of silence....

****crickets****

Okay, now that we're all done with that, on to the funny stuff. Kyra keeps informing me that Bird's OK, Mama. Bird's in Heaven. To which I reply, You know who else is in Heaven? Jesus. And Kyra answers back, No, Mama! Jesus is on the cwoss! He can walk and when he falls, he bweeds on his knees and someone helps him up. You member that? He's on the Cwoss!

Ahh... too cute.

In Lydia news, we have made it a solid WEEK with out the hysterical crying fits that nothing seems to soothe! And, AND! She hasn't had another rash on her rear since my last reporting of it. AND! AND! Last night she slept from 8:30 at night to 6 this morning.

HA! Life is great!

Except for the fact that there is ice in my driveway and my leetle, bitty car isn't fond of trying to find traction while driving in and up the slight incline. Oh, and Jeremy thinks that I'm being silly when I cover my eyes in panic and just ask him to park the damned thing already! I'm confident that one day he'll learn that I'll never get used to the frozen'ness of everything in the winter. One day...

Three Shades of Lydia

In order of their most frequent appearances.
Complacent:
Followed very closely by pissed:
And trailing waaaay behind, happy:
The new formula has seemed to help with the screaming, crying, will nothing stop the madness? tantrums. Yea! But her stool has turned into what appears to be watered down honey mustard and today more blisters started to appear. I'm not certain that is exactly what we're going for. Fix one thing at a time, I guess.

Wednesday we leave for the Artic Tundra of the North so you may not hear from me for a week or so unless I find a computer at a library to hijack. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping by this time next week I can happily report that Lydia is just as happy and blister free as a baby can be. We shall see...

The Waiting Game

Lydia's well baby went, for lack of a better term, well. She looks great, sounds great, and is overall a picture of perfect health. With the exception of her loose stools and beacon red behind and constant crying.

I listed off all the signs and symptom, informed her about Kyra's previous allergy to all things dairy and waited for her response. The pediatrician asked tons of questions, poked and prodded around Lydia's belly and came to the same conclusion I did (though I didn't tell her about my conclusion); Lydia is probably sensitive or allergic to both dairy and soy.

We've switched her formula to Similac Alimentum. And she HATES it. Today has been even worse with the crying because Lydia is refusing to eat at all costs. Oh, sure I can get her to swig down an ounce here, two ounces there... but for the most part, she's on a hunger strike. Giving in just long enough to stave off starvation but not enough to fill her up.

The pedi warned me about this. She said the new formula tastes terrible and not to be surprised if Lydia doesn't want to drink it. She hit that bell right on the head.

So now it's a waiting game. We wait for Lydia to get hungry enough to eat. And we wait to see if the new formula helps out with her digestive troubles. And we wait for the day the Heavens open up and smile down upon me and my kid quits screaming like a rabid monkey getting poked with a hot stick.

I'm waiting.... Impatiently, but I'm still waiting.

A Case of the WAAAH!

Cry, cry, crycrycry. That's what Lydia does.

Oh, she naps here and there. Like the 20 minute nap she took in her swing this morning. Or the 3 hour nap she took while strapped in my new Beco carrier (which was sent from the Heavens, by the way- I HIGHLY recommend getting one). I even managed to swaddle her teeny, tiny heiny up tighter then a frog's ass and she slept for (wait for it......) an entire hour! But with every closing of her eyes, she still bitches. Eyes closed, a random Eeeh! escapes her pouty lips, usually followed by a Hmph. and then a WAAAH! Even when sleeping, she's still complaining.

Which, might be normal. Who knows? Its just that when Kyra slept, she slept quietly. No bitching, no moaning, no complaining... just quiet, peaceful sleep.

So when Lisa commented on yesterday's post that her daughter was on Nutramigen, being the researcher that I am, I googled. What I found was not a whole lot. Until I stumbled upon something called Alimentum, a Similac brand formula. On the Similac website I found this:

Some babies have long crying spells and cannot be easily comforted. This excessive crying or fussiness is sometimes called colic, and may be due to a sensitivity to the protein. Other symptoms such as severe diarrhea, rashes, and even sleeping problems also can be caused by protein sensitivity.

to which I thought... cha-ching!, this single paragraph has just described Lydia to a T. Tomorrow I'll have to ask Lydia's pediatrician about this. Maybe, just maybe, we can fix this before she is 9 months old, because that's how long it took to diagnose Kyra's dairy allergy.

Now that this mystery is maybe, possibly, HOPEFULLY solved, I just have to start figuring out why Kyra decided to spike a 102.2 temperature today. No real signs or symptoms other then loss of appetite and no energy. Hell, she even took a 3 hour nap. Though, maybe that has something to do with the Shadow Man (her description, not ours) she says comes into her room at night. Weirdo.

Becuase I Have Nothing Better to Talk About

Had my post pardom checkup today. The good news is I've lost 20 pounds since I had Lydia. The bad news is that was just about the same amount I lost 6 days after I gave birth. I guess all those Oreo and Girl Scout cookies haven't done much for my figure. Maybe I ought to try the All Ice Cream All Day diet. Think that might do the trick to lose that last 10 pounds?

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Lydia has turned into a little scream machine again. Whether we're holding her or not. Jer has nicknamed her Grump'oppotamous.

To go along with the scream fest, she's had a serious case of the runs for 8 days now. To top that off, her butt is as bright as a neon light and has formed leetle bitty blisters. (I'll bet that's the reason for a scream fest) I have a sinking feeling she's allergic to not only dairy but soy too. Good thing her well baby is on Friday, I have no idea what to do with the kid other then whisper in her ear This is why people go crazy and shake their babies. She hasn't taken the hint.

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This evening, as Kyra had a single bracelet around both wrists, I asked her what she was doing. She replied, "I'm wishing to our Lord Jesus and ask him if God sent me." Don't get me wrong, we're religious and are trying to teach her to pray and all, but we have never used this kind of wording around her and frankly, she's creeping me out.

************

We're moving to the Artic Tundra of the North next week. Jer is freaking out and thus annoying the crap out of me. I'm thinking of sending him and the animals early just so he'll get out of my hair. Surly the girls and I can manage all by our little lonesomes?

Upgrade!

This is what happens when your husband gets caught sleeping with a hooker, you go from this:
to this:
In a day.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't sleeping with a hooker, if that were the case I would demand a much bigger ring. And child support.

I got new rings because he loves me and he's a man and is constantly thinking of bigger and better. In other words, he has been on my case for over 4 years now to get new rings because my first set was all he could afford at the time and it wasn't exactly what he wanted. And lets face it, I was born with two X chromosomes and therefore if it sparkles and shines I'm naturally attracted to it.

Pretty, aren't they?

Holding the Guilt

Hole Lee Shit. I am so tired of holding a baby I might just put her down and let her cry.

Oh. Wait. Been there, done that, she rarely cries herself to sleep when I really, truly need her too.

I've said it before. Kyra was the EASIEST baby ever. EV. ER. She wanted to be held just long enough to see the world. Her biggest thing was to entertain her. Keep things moving, keep things new and fresh, keep things routine. Dull moments only lead to trouble.

Clearly she hasn't changed.

Lydia is following directly behind her. Footstep by bouncing footstep... with one exception, she wants you to hold her while entertaining her. Or while putting her to sleep. Or while she's sleeping. Or while I'm trying to cook a supper consisting of cubed steak that's being fried in hot popping oil and the husband is outside with the older child busy entertaining her and I'm doing my best to turn a steak with one hand while shielding her wiggly ass with the other.

True story.

But good God Almighty. Can I just get a break?

I feel like I shouldn't complain. Other then the wanting to be held all the time, she's an amazing baby. She sleeps through the night (or so I call it when she sleeps from 9pm to 4am consistently), we solved what we thought to be colic in the first three weeks by switching her to soy formula, she smiles at everything from the couch backing to a swirling fan... Lydia is an absolute peach- as long as I'm holding her and josling my arm or leg at the same time.

While this is probably a great way to lose weight, it still gets tiring. And I feel strained.

I feel guilty when I beg Jeremy to just take her! Its your turn to hold her even though you just walked through the door after working all day.

I feel guilty when friends hold her but she starts to cry because they're not moving her, not stimulating her, not entertaining her. Like I've done something wrong to create such a needy baby. A "spoiled" baby- as my mother and Jeremy both call her. But she's not needy, or spoiled, she's just a cuddle bug. From the day she was born- 6 weeks and 2 days ago- she wants to be held and cuddled and on the move.

But worst of all, I feel guilty for neglecting Kyra. I've heard over and over that this is a normal reaction after you have your second child but the thing is- Kyra doesn't even seem to notice. She isn't jealous, she shows copious amounts of love to Lydia and myself and has yet to act as if something has changed in the last 6 weeks. And still I wonder, how can I make sure Kyra isn't forgotten.

I get tired of holding the baby. Yet it kills me to ask someone else to step in.

After 2 children and over 3 years of this parenting business, I don't know how to ever get comfortable asking someone to give me 10 minutes of free time without feeling guilty.

Nightly Prayers

Wanna see something totally and completely cute?

Here's Kyra saying "Hail Mary"


And this is her version of "Our Father"


I should have recorded this two months ago when she really butchered the prayers. But, this will have to do. Hopefully one day she, too, will look back and think the videos are just as cute as Jer and I do.

My next mission is to get her "God Bless..." on tape. She blesses everything from the moon to herself hoping like a bunny.

Damn she's adorable.

How to Deal With a Screaming Baby

When a screaming child just won't shut the hell up, the first thing you try is ignoring them.
When that doesn't work, take several pictures in hopes the flash will distract them.
When that still doesn't solve the problem, add a good dose of shushing in the baby's ear and rhythmic bouncing to go along with the flashing camera.
The baby might just be distracted long enough to....
Swaddle their asses up tight and leave them in their bassinet to cry it out before they even know what hit them.
Its worked two days in a row now.

What's In Alicia's Camera

I took a series of pictures showing the process Lydia and I take while she screams in my ear and I make a futile attempt at calming her down... but that will have to wait until tomorrow, as I have found some other cute pictures I took this week and if I don't post them now then it'll never get done.

With out further wait... here's what's in my camera.

Jeremy seems to think there is a connection here:
Lydia started smiling last week. This is the first hint of a smile I could catch on camera:
Kitty Cat, somehow, look almost gleeful to be used as a neck support for a sleeping child:
Lydia is sleeping. Kyra is "not touching her." I couldn't pass up a photo op like this:
And then she asked permission to give her a kiss. How could I say no?
Kyra was so proud she didn't wake Lydia up.
But then she wanted to take a picture with me:
And then she wanted Lydia in the picture too:
And then it was Kitty Cat's turn:And that, folks, is what I have stored in my camera from this week. What's on your camera?

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In other news, Lydia slept for 8 hours last night. From 8pm to 4 am. And after devouring 3 ounces at 4am she was back asleep until 7am. Does that count as sleeping through the night?

Kyra woke up at 7 this morning and didn't go to sleep again until 6:30 this evening, and nowhere in between did she have a single melt down or tantrum. She usually has a 2 hour nap and an 8 o'clock bed time to elude such things.

Are these two things in conjunction cause a giant celebration, or should I not brag for fear tonight Lydia will be up no less then 4 times and tomorrow Kyra will be an absolute holy terror?

A Typical Day

My husband-

who came home from work today and took a nap on the love seat even while the baby was screaming bloody murder, left me to not only take care of said child's wet diaper but warm up a bottle while listening to said continue to child scream bloody murder in my ear,

then act as if it a mean cruel thing to ask him to get the other child from our bed as she has waken from her nap but isn't fully awake yet (thus grumpiness ensues for 20 minutes) and attempts to get her to lay on the couch with him while he tries to fall back to sleep but gets frustrated with older child who is now WIDE AWAKE can't sit still,

and then when we all finish watching Oprah and get our asses of the couch and he decides he needs to check his email and talk on the phone for the next 30 minutes while I'm trying to cook dinner, calm the still intermittently screaming baby and keep the older child entertained all at the same time so he can piddle on the computer and talk on the phone in peace-

wonders why, as we sit down to supper, I seem a bit grumpy.

Mind you, nowhere in that rant did the husband exchange in conversation with me before we sat down for supper. Sleeping and email were his priorities.

And somehow when he says with a stupid voice and his childish grin, But I love you...!, I can't help but crack a smile and inform him that I hate him. Too bad I couldn't say that with a poker face, maybe he'd take me more seriously and help me without having to be nagged to death first.

Ding Dong the Witch is Gone

Er... um... Hi, Mom!

So, my mother was in town for 10 days to see the girls and babysit while Jer and I took a quick trip to the Artic Tundra of the North to find a new house. While Mom was here, she managed to teach Kyra such things as when she eats her belly gets fat and how to use the word "stupid" in a sentence.

Wonderful.

I guess it's no worse then at the dinner table tonight Jeremy used the word "sucks" in a sentence. Kyra immediately began muttering "sucks" over and over to which Jeremy asked in all seriousness, Where in the world did she learn that word from?

Duh?

Anyhow, with my mother's help (she watched the girls for us again) Jer and I got to have another little movie night! We saw the movie Gran Torino. Totally . Fucking. Awesome. In every way shape and form.

But now my mom has gone. Back to regularly scheduled programming. Like posting super cute pictures of my children:

Lazy Bones Bishop
and Proud Cricket.
Oh, you were expecting the non furry children? Well, because I hate to disappoint here's a quick shot of Kyra and Lydia.
And look here, today at the zoo with 6 girls. Aren't they all damn cute?
You know, supposedly there is a study going on about submariners and the effects working on a sub has on the sex of their off spring. The entire 4 years we've spent on the boat, there are only 4 boys I'm aware born and about 385 girls. Okay, so the girl count has been exaggerated, but the number is significantly higher then 4 boys in 4 years.

Here's a tip, if you want to conceive a male heir, don't do the nasty with a submariner. Your chances will drop dramatically. Radiation is killer to those Y carrying sperm.