Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Two More Steps Towards Hippy Town

I've been keeping a very big, giant secret from most of the world at large...  I am absolutely one to keep secrets when I start something new.  I'm a total hush-hush when it comes to my complete failures in life.  Mostly because I've been trained by my mother not to say when I'm trying new things so I don't have to hear, "I TOLD you so!" when I don't always succeed.  I can't recall a time she's ever patted me on the back for trying something new and having it actually work out in my favor, not that that part matters much to me.  It's the "I TOLD you so!" with her know-it-all tone that grates at my every fiber of self esteem.

She's fantastically up-beat in that way.  

As it is, I've since learned in my 30 years of life to try any and all things on the total and complete down low, hush-hush silence, just in case things done go my way.  Far be it for my mother to judge me, I'm fairly used to that, but to have the rest of the world do it to, completely petrifies me.
I decided, less than 12 hours before Ruby arrived (at 10 o'clock at night with an 8AM surgery time) to try breastfeeding on for size.  Not that that is any kind of big deal for the greater population at large, but its a completely HUGE deal with me.  I am. not. a co-sleeping, breast feeding, baby wearing mother.

Nope.  Not me.  Not even a little bit.  

What I am is an, "I love you but please don't touch me, " kind of a mother.  I have issues with bubble space. Particularly when people enter my bubble space.  Including my off-spring.

Especially my off spring.

Those little heathens have no clue what bubble space is, nor do they care.
But after Lydia, by God, I'm doing all I can to make sure that child's issues are of no fault of mine!  I've had enough well-intentioned  people come into my life offering fantastic advice like maybe if I had nursed Lydia she wouldn't have so many food intolerances.  Or did I know that nursing a baby is supposed to help them more readily accept food without an issue, because they nursed their sweet babe and they have no problems.

In my head, I punch them.  I real life, I play dumb.  "Oh, reeeeally...?!"

Now, as life has it, Lydia has this tiny little auto immune whatnot called Celiac Disease.  Which means breast feeding would have had no here nor there when it came to her food intolerances.  All arrows point to faulty intestinal absorption thanks to that there disease.

Now if only my head would FULLY register this fact...
Ruby is 11 weeks old, as of yesterday.  For 11 weeks I've been, mostly, nursing her.  Here and there, when someone stops by and has a couple extra hands, I throw a bottle full of formula their way with a screaming babe and guilt trip them into feeding her for me while I take those free moments to clean the kitchen, sweep the floor or sit and chat while someone else feeds my child.

It took me until week 8 or 9 before I decided, "Huh, I think we've got the hang of this..."  Before then, it was absolutely agonizing for me every. feeding.
First, the pain.  Oh, Holy Lord, how do people choose to let a tiny human rip apart their neither regions through natural child birth AND THEN turn around and let them rip apart their northern peaks through breast feeding?

Where the fuck is their trophy?

Second, the awkwardness   Why even bother to put a shirt on those first few weeks?  And WHY do people insist on wanting to sit and visit when they know you have a baby to feed and have NO desire to show this baby your tits, much less your company?

And thirdly, the hour long feeding session.  For someone with bubble space, that shit is excruciating.
I must say, once the pain went away... after six weeks.... and then Ruby learned how to get in and out of there in 15-20 minutes.... around eight/nine weeks.... it was only then did I start to feel comfortable enough to nurse outside of a locked room.  Though, I still require a giant tarp to hide all my not to be seen northern peaks, because, HELLO NURSING BREASTS!... and I thought pregnancy was pretty generous.

So that's left me, juuuuust about two weeks of having decided, I think we can do this.  Maybe I'm not a failure, after all.
And also, we're cloth diapering this time around!

A lesson learned from Kyra's baby days... diapers don't burn!  I wanted to cloth diaper with Lydia but was somehow all consumed with trying to stop the screaming that cloth diapers fell off the agenda completely.  Go figure.

There you go.  My secrets.  Laid out for all to judge.  Because: da-da-daaa!  I'M!! NOT!!! FAILING!!!!

What I am, is two more steps towards hippy town.  Vegetable gardening, farmer's market buying, home preserving and organic, from scratch cooking.  Hippy Town shouldn't be too far away, at this point.
P.S.  Ruby doesn't handle dairy.  AT ALL.  Three kids, none of them have handled dairy.  Jeremy doesn't handle dairy.  *I* do handle dairy.  Which makes food intolerances: All. Jeremy's. Fault. (insert grin and a wink, here)


  1. Ah, you make me smile! And yes, where the F is my trophy? Or are the trophies reserved only for those who nurse after "natural" childbirth? Darn my total eagerness to be cut in half in order to get those babies out ... if only I'd known I could have had a TROPHY! (totally tongue-in-cheek there in case the sarcasm wasn't coming thru with the typing)

    Embrace the hippiness!! Who knows, by the time Jer comes home your legs and pits might look like the Amazon! LOL

    1. Sorry, no trophy for you. Or me. We missed it by >thismuch<. Maybe next time...

      Do all hippies have to give up the grooming razor? If that's the case, I think I'm going to stick to skipping merrily outside the Hippy Compound in their wildflower field.

  2. That is so awesome. I never got to nurse, I pumped for 8 weeks and then got sick and couldn't but I'm proud of you for trying and succeeding. I am hoping with baby two, whenever that comes to breastfeed and use cloth diapers
    I also don't understand people wanting to be around when others are nursing. It makes me very uncomfortable .
    I hope you can continue and its awesome u are doing !

    1. Thank you! And next time it will be awesome for you, too! Now, how much longer until next time?!

  3. When ever the big man in charge chooses the time to be right. My guess would be as I try to finish my masters and have to be the girl who has a baby on friday and is in class on Wednesday, I think he enjoys doing that kind of stuff to me
    Can't wait to see more pictures of the girls

  4. That is great, good for you! Yes it is hard and super annoying. But on the flip side it is easy and cheap!
    You don't even want to know how long I nursed my kids.... when you cross that bridge, call me.

    1. You know, the easy and cheap part of nursing NEVER. CROSSED. MY MIND. when I started. But I've come to like that my grocery bill hasn't changed each week!

      And I started out taking it day by day, week by week, and then month by month. But now that I'm almost up to three months, my new goal is six months. Sometimes I wonder how long I'll go with this, now that I've the hang of it :)