Saturday, November 10, 2012

Recording the Great

This morning was an excellent, easy morning.

The girls got up and dressed for ice skating without a hitch.  Kyra composed herself into her future 27 year old, responsible adult who spoke kind words, helped others and was an overall angel sent down from heaven.  Lydia surprised us all at the rink by not only getting on the ice with out even a hint of the complete meltdown of a tantrum, but she seemed like the same ice skating little girl I knew, and swore to all the parents who've tried to help me tame her these past five weeks, that this is how she really behaved back in the Arctic Tundra, first one on the ice and hamming it up, from the beginning of class to the end.
We came home, changed the growing Ruby's clothes so her stomach might not hang out of a too short shirt and took a few pictures together while texting a friend back and forth who agreed to meet us for lunch at Five Guys where, once again, my children were fan-fucking-tastic. Purely saint-like, through and through.
After lunch it was grocery shopping.  My poor refrigerator.  All sad, lonely and empty.  Last night's supper was tuna fish sandwiches, because I couldn't muster the enthusiasm for peanut butter and jelly.
We came home and quickly unloaded groceries so we could FaceChat with Jeremy!  (!!!)  He's in Greece, spending all our money on meals he hopes isn't cooked kitty.  Apparently stray, yet social, cats are abundant in that particular part of the country.
The day did end rather abrupt and early.  The big girls had lost their listening ears by supper time.  Through, try as Kyra did, asking me what she could do to help out, in the end, she'd find trouble with Lydia- an all too willing partner in crime.  And a poor Lydie Kate, at that.  She can only do so much without a nap before the words, "No, ma'am" send her over the edge.  By 7 o'clock I had both big girls in bed.  By 7:30, Ruby was swaddled and on her way to sleep in her own bed.
I write all this down as a reminder to myself that things are good.  We have our good moments, good days and sometimes even a good week.

I had a bit of wallowing week as I hemmed and hawed over what to do for Thanksgiving.  I'd love nothing more than to spend it with the people I'm most comfortable with, my very best friends, in the Land of the CornHusker.  And I feel an immense amount of guilt for having not traveled to the Land of the Country Bumpkin to introduce the family to Ruby.  But, sometimes, I have to be honest with myself.  I'm not mentally, or physically, there yet.  I'm not to the point of extended travel vacations.  I'm not ready for a three day drive and boarding dogs and worrying about Lydia safe food.  I'm not up for family dramas, remarks over who's house I'm staying in, walking on egg shells to keep everyone happy.

I'm still sleep deprived.  I'm still emotional.  I'm still getting a firm handle of this whole situation.  And while I've a much stronger grip than I did 7 weeks ago, I'm still aware of how quickly my palms get sweaty and my grasp starts to slip.  Right now, I still need my time to escape to my room for a quick breath of fresh air.

While the crazy days are short and the lonely nights are long, I need to record today.

Today, we not only had a good day, we had a great day.   As ordinary and mundane as it may be, today was a great day.


  1. I am so so happy to hear that you've had a wonderful day. I'm also glad that you're able to recognize that you're not ready to travel instead of "pushing through" and ending up in a worse place. As much as we'd love to see you, we totally understand!! Love ya!

    1. Your encouraging words mean so much to me. Thank you. :)