Saturday, February 06, 2010

How Turrets is (Possibily) Affecting My Driving

So.  Many, many months ago I saw this band, Cage the Elephant on David Letterman.

My first thought was, Man, what in God's name is that lead singer on? And then I thought, well, no- that's not fair- Maybe the dude had to REALLY use the bathroom.  I mean, come on...  That is definitely a CLASSIC PEE-PEE DANCE.  I watch Kyra doing that same exact dance several times a day.

Lets face it-- Every. Single. Time. I hear that song on the radio I have flash backs to Dude doing his pee-pee dance.  EVERY TIME.  And the only time I ever seem to listen to the radio anymore is while I'm in the car.  Picture it... I'm DRIVING, usually WITH MY CHILDREN, and instead of paying full attention to my DRIVING ABILITIES I'm steadily trying to figure out why Dude didn't use the rest room before he got on stage.  SIX MONTHS AFTER SEEING THE PERFOMANCE AND I'M STILL OBSESSING.

Tonight I made up my mind to see if my memory served me correctly-- and sure enough my first thought was Now, why did he have to take drugs before their performance?  Are they all on drugs or just the turrets guy?  After that though I quickly corrected myself and though, No, no.  Just because Dude is doing some funky moves, doesn't mean he's on drugs.  Definitely a pee-pee dance.  Definitely.  

And then I watch this performance of thiers for visual reference:

And I have an epiphany. Maybe I'm on to something, and Dude might not be on drugs nor in desperate need of a bathroom break.  I bet Dude DOES HAVE TURRETS and he's too busy trying to sing his lyrics he can't control his ticks.  Or maybe he has EPILEPSY and all the bright flashy lights are making him SWALLOW HIS TONGUE and this forces the band to prerecord their songs to make up for this unfortunate condition?  Because if there isn't some medical cause for Dude's dancing abilities... well.... Dude just has no rhythm.  It's like he's having spasms of some sort, right? 

I've seen people who can't dance, but this guys...

This guy....

Dude is messing with my driving abilities because all I can do is try to figure out WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM THAT  HE ISN'T EVEN CONVULSING TO THE BEAT OF MUSIC?

And this is what goes on inside my head.  I'm a little bit obsessive about completely stupid and random things.  You're welcome for that glimpse.


  1. um ... yikes! that's all i have to say.

  2. It does look like a pee-pee dance on drugs. I am surprised the singer actually got any words into the microphone he was bouncing around so much.