Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Dear Terrible 2s,

Why hello there! Good to see ya!

Where have you been the last 7 months? I have anxiously awaited your arrival. I've been telling anyone who asks that No, in fact, Kyra has not hit the Terrible 2s, but I'm sure its coming around the corner.

Boy howdy, you did not disappoint. As of yesterday's melt down when her father dared to brush Kyra's teeth you had officially arrived. I thought she was just tired and Jer wasn't handling her right when I found him carrying her like a football, kicking and screaming, to her bedroom.

Apparently, that was the first of many meltdowns to come. This morning alone I have witnessed Kyra's meltdown over the ending of Curious George, the suggestion that she put her own panties on, and the whole "Wait just a minute, Mommy will get your milk after I take the puppies outside."

None of these meltdowns occurred because she was either tired, starving to death or Mommy and Daddy decided just for fun to throw a new monkey wrench into the day's usual routine. This is how I knew it was you, Terrible 2s.

Lets get one thing strait, I fully expected you to be here, oh, I don't know, 7 or so months ago. Just because you decided to show up late to this game, I still fully expect you to leave on time. Go ahead, plant roots, reek havoc for the next 5 months. When the child turns 3 I want my sweet as sugar baby back. Okay? Good. Glad to see we're on the same page.

Slave to the Mommy Trade


  1. Not to rain on your parade, but some kids go through the terrible threes instead of the terrible twos (My mom says I did.). I wish you all the luck in the world in getting rid of them in five months. If you do, you are a miracle worker, and I will definitely call you for advice when my turn comes.

  2. Then there is always the fiersome fours!

  3. Some asshat actually told me that the terrible 2s can last until the kid is like 4 or some shit.

    My response was a swift punch to that person's liver, and then started searching want ads for lovely asian couples wanting to adopt.