Friday, February 01, 2013

Leading A Horse to Water

Imagine trying to lead your horse to water to have a refreshing drink.  Now imagine my children are the horses.  This is very much how that scenario would evolve:

Kyra Shea
Me:  There you go, water's right over there!
Kyra:  Where?  I don't see it.
Me:  Right THERE. {pointing}
Kyra:  Ooooh!  Can you walk with me?
Lydia Kate
Me:  There you go, water's right over there!
Lydia:  OH!  I see it!  Lets go!
Me:  {following along at measured pace}
Lydia:  {arrives at water, proceeds throwing horse sized tantrum}
Me:  What's wrong?
Lydia:  I not know HOW to drink!
Me:  Oh, for the love of Pete.  Use your mouth.  Drink.  GO!
Lydia: {hangs head in pathetic show of despair and whines...} I not know hoooow and no one will help meeee.
Me:  Lydia, I can not drink for you, you must do this on your own.
Ruby Elisabeth
Me:  There you go, water's right over there!
Ruby: {showing off her mastery of the, "Don't be a moron" stare}
Me:  What?  You gonna go get a drink?
Ruby:  You gonna bring it here?
Me:  No.  But I bet if you walk right over there, the water won't run away!
Ruby: {rolls eyes, smacks teeth, cocks one hip to the side}  Psht.  Bitch, please.  Now fetch me that water.  And don't forget a straw.

To sum things up, I have one child who needs me to literally lead her to the edge of the water, another who would love it if I'd just go ahead and drink for her and a third who thinks placing her own lips to the water line is asking too much.
I thought with each succeeding child things would be easier.  Boy was I SO VERY WRONG.


  1. "And don't forget the straw."
    Does my dearest Goddaughter really have so much attitude so early in life? I promise I didn't teach her that one! :-)

    1. She is a very happy, very content baby. But if you're not performing her choice of dance at just the right speed the instant she demands, there will be hell to pay. And she really has mastered the "Don't be a moron" stare. Its quite impressive. :)