Sunday, November 07, 2010

Day Light Savings- A Load Of Crap

You'd think most people would be thrilled to bits and pieces to be gaining an hour of sleep.  Though, most people don't dislike change with the same hatred as my Little Lydie Kate. 

You see, she spent most of our sleeping hours waking up every two hours screaming Mawww Mee! and then proceeding to cry as if someone came to her crib and dared to take her thumb out of her mouth and Cut. It. Off.

I'd jump out of bed, sprint the 8 feet to her bed, only to find her laying there crying hysterically for no apparent reason other then she hates me and doesn't want me to get that extra hour of sleep.  I'd rub her back, shush her and watch her as she stand up all teary eyed while pleading me Up, up! with her arms outstretched.  I'd scoop her up, continuing to shush as I swayed her back and forth and then she'd do it again.  One hand, thumb in the mouth, rested on my shoulder with her head, the other hand starts to swish my hair back and forth as she smiles and begins to laugh at this new game. 

A game apparently so awesome, she repeats it at 2am, 4am and 6am. (this is not factoring in the time change, mind you, which would make it, what?  1,3,5?)  And then.... AND THEN.... when 8am rolls around one of the dogs bark.  Just one bark, like, HEY!  THERE'S SOMEONE WALKING THEIR DOG DOWN THE STREET IN CASE ANYONE CARED kind of bark.  I ran to my bedroom door, threatened the dogs life and then climbed back into bed. 

It was at this point that my dear and lovely husband, who was having a "sleep over" with Kyra downstairs decides he should let both dogs outside to do their morning business.  Except this entails the dogs getting really excited and prancing back and forth on our fake wood floors with their nails in a house that likes to ECHO ECHO ECHO. 

[Dogs going out:  Outside!  Outside!  I can not believe we get to go outside!!!  We can smell all the new morning smells and find out what's been traipsing across our yard while we've been sleeping!  Oh, what a glorious morning this is going to be!

Dogs coming in:  Hey, hey!  Human!  You should have smelled it!  I think it was another chipmunk and possibly a rabbit and I followed it's scent right up to the trees and then I PEED to let it know I own this place.  And then, then!  Then I thought I smelled that dreaded stray cat that comes along and I made sure to pee where he peed because I'm the boss around here and damn it, I'll teach that cat a lesson if you'd ever let me out with him!]

Lydia cries, Mawww Mee!  Jer goes back down stairs and his giddy as hell dogs follow him. 

Lydia fusses, on the brink of screaming.  Jer stays downstairs even though I shout, THANKS FOR WAKING THE BABY!!!

Lydia all out screams.  Jer makes no attempt to come get this child he helped to wake up. 

I drag myself out of bed again, change Lydia out of her diaper and get her dressed--- at which point she starts to scream bloody murder because I dared to put a church dress over her head and didn't I see she was pulling on her shirt drawer? 

I scoop her up, cuddle her, take her to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.  Offer her breakfast.  Lydia stands in the middle of the kitchen floor screaming at me, ignoring my attempts to satisfy whatever it is she wants.  I leave her there, climb back into my warm bed and wait the 3 minutes for Jeremy to register that THE CHILD THAT HE WOKE UP IS SCREAMING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN AND MOMMY IS NOT STOPPING IT.  

Jeremy comes upstairs, picks up the hysterical Lydia and brings her to me.  At which point I shot lasers out of my eyes in my best attempt to blow up his head in a cartoon like fashion. 

Lydia has proceeded to scream and cry all morning.  It's suffice to say that we're skipping church today.  Because Lydia is clearly against Day Light Savings Time.  Or something.  I don't know what. 

The child is grumpy, and Mommy is tired and grumpy.  And Daddy is completely oblivious of everything that goes on around him and I don't think it's right to go to church and have the overwhelming urge to slap a grown man on the back of the head and tell him to WAKE UP, ASSHAT! YOUR KID SHOULD NOT BE DOING BACK FLIPS OFF THE PEW. 

Because that kind of physical assault just wouldn't be Christian like in the middle of Father's Homily. 


All that to say, our Day Light Savings time change has started out real swell and like most change in life.... Lydia is wholly against it. 

Ahh... life.  Always an adventure. 

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