Tuesday, August 24, 2010

If I'm Selling Them to You Potty Trained..... The Price Just Went Up

The potty training thing is going great.... if you're talking about door #1.
See that face, there?  That is what Lydia looks like at the exact moment she's peeing.  A broad smile as she points down while muttering Beebee!  Beebee! 

Peeing in the potty, she's got down pat.

If your talking about door #2, on the other hand...  we're coming up a little short.
This child can hold her shit until the most inappropriate time.  Like while eating an afternoon snack, when she promptly stands up in her chair and takes a crap right then and there.  And it's not to say that the poop suddenly crept up on her.

Oh, no.

She had been walking around the house for an hour, holding her ass cheek.  I'd ask her Do you need to poo poo? At which point she'd nod her whole body (seriously- she bends at the waist, not the neck) and takes off running to the bathroom.  She'd climb up to her throne, take a seat and let loose a few spells of gas... and then promptly double over with laughter before signing that she was all done.

No. Shit. (pun totally intended)

So, day 2 of potty training a 19 month old.  Mildly successful.

Now, let me show you something insane.
That's Kyra flying across the ice in a squat position.  If, I, were to do that, I'd be in less of a forward motion and in more of a flat on my ass position. 

But, wait- it gets better.
Um... ya... about that...  Why, yes I have a 4 year old who can skate 1 footed circles around me and no, I have no idea where she got this kind of talent from. 
Jeremy can skate in a recklessly basic forward and backwards type of movement but he has no clue how to stop or, well, do much of anything else.  The best I can do is a slightly more graceful forward, backward or stopping motion.  But this craziness?  Psh.
No wonder I have coaches asking me on a weekly basis if I'd like to have private lessons for her.  If she keeps this up, we just might see her in the 2022 Winter Olympics.  I'll also have to start selling any and all subsequent children on the black market to pay for such things as ice time and coaching fees, but, you know, whatever is best for my little girl.

Ahh.... the give and take of motherhood.


  1. i hear china pays for the kids' training from quite a young age ... might check into that for Kyra, but maybe she's too old? :-)

  2. I need to borrow Lydia so that she shows Nyki how it's done. Right now Nyki announces "wee wee!" and races to the loo, sits down and then proceeds to jabber on and on and on and then says, "All done!" and gets down. >.< I think she loves the IDEA of going like her sister, but we haven't yet really had a #1 success let alone anything else. LOVE your pics!! GO KYRA!!!! (PS - I want tickets to her 2022 Olympics, and if needed, I'll sell my own kids for you)

  3. I have a proposal for you - allow me to invest some money to put towards Kyra's professional training, and after she wins gold in 2022, I get a cut of all of her endorsement deals. I'll have my lawyer draw up a contract...

  4. Joelle- Aww, man! The deadline for that is the 3rd birthday. If only I'd have know sooner...

    Erica- How generous of you to offer up your own children to help my Kyra accomplish such a goal! And OF COURSE you can borrow Lydia. I'll put her on the first plane to Australia. Hell, I'll even send Kyra, too. I bet it'd be fun to yell K(y/i)ra!! and they both come running.

    Lindsey- You know, somehow I think you're trying to solidify your early retirement off of my little prodigy... and that just doesn't seem right. I'll have *my* lawyer draw up the contract.

  5. I'm so proud of both my genius nieces!!!!!But I'm mainly amused by the oh so cute baby pics of Lydia..esp. when she gets older and starts dating and these get shown to future boyfriends. the one of her pointing should def. be in her senior year book!!