***Warning: If you are a man who has stumbled upon this post by accident, I suggest you stumble right back to where you came from. If you are a woman who'd rather not read things about "womanly issues" I'd advise you to turn back as well.***
Well, folks, it was that time of year again. That's right, the annual sneak peek into the nether regions.
I'm not going to gross you out with all the yucky details since all of you who read this are women (at least as far as I'm aware) and already knows what happens in the exam room.
Instead I'm going to fill you in on some insightful comments I'd rather not hear while my feet are in the stir ups. Such as:
Hmmm? -I can't see what you're looking at and your Hmmm sounded like a confused Hmmm. Ya mind elaborating a little?
Or:
I don't think you're relaxing enough. -And just how relaxed would you be should we swap places?
Even this conversation was a bit weird:
Doc: You're Cervix seems to have turned since I put the IUD in (19 months ago).
Me: Is that normal?
Doc: Well... a cervix is similar to how you write, you're either a lefty or a righty. A cervix either faces left, right, up or down.
Me: Um, okay? (is it me or did this explanation answer nothing about my question?) So is it bad that my cervix has turned?
Doc: It's just the way your body is.
Me: *Stay relaxed. Just stair at the ceiling. Oh, what pretty, plain, white tiles they have...*
Damn. Being a women is just down right sexy. Thank God we only have to do this once a year.
I went through this last week. I have a cervix that likes to flop around too. I have no idea what that means, but my doc didn't seem concerned about it, so neither did I.
ReplyDeleteyeah i am not lucky enough to get it only once a year, I get it twice a year!! And each time I almost pass out, SERIOUSLY, i hate doctors and i really hate going to this one. Mine is a great guy but sorry I don't handle theses things well.
ReplyDeleteyeah, not looking forward to that post-partum check in a couple weeks ... "relax" yeah right!
ReplyDeleteLOL that's never bothered me at all, and I'm always pretty relaxed (though my first time I was tense and it fracking hurt). My doc doesn't like to give them though and he'll always chatter nonstop as though somehow that eases his discomfort. I'm just happy looking out the window at the ocean...and oh yeah, the hottie surfers. :D
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