Stupid Comments People Should Keep to Themselves- The Baby Edition

1) Babies are expensive- well no sh*t Sherlock! You mean the government just doesn't hand you an all expenses paid check when you walk out of the hospital?

2) Babies are hard to take care of/work- wow! Now that's something that maybe should have been considered before we got pregnant. Cause, you know, I was really only planning on this whole child rearing thing to be a cake walk. There goes my dreams of care free days filled with watching soap operas and eating bon bons.

3) Having children is a life changing event- *gasp* I would have never known had you not put this thought into my mind. I just expected my life to remain exactly the same with this new appendage attached to my hip.

4) Just remember, Mom can take a nap when Baby takes a nap- first of all, have you met my daughter? Queen of I hate naps and would rather scream bloody murder for putting me in this god awful crib then be a normal baby who sleeps most of the day away. It has gone from that in infancy to this today; Hey, thanks for putting me in the crib mom! Now I can tear it all apart while playing for an hour before you give up and check on me only to find me still awake and now smelly, with pillow, blanket, and toys thrown to the floor below as I hop up and down on a bare crib mattress, excited that someone is going to put it all back together just so I can do it all over again in the next hour that I'm supposed to be asleep! (insert evil baby laughter here)

5) No one cares what you look like, they understand that you just had a baby- This is in reference to my ginormous ass I grew while pregnant, as well as the lack of clothing with spit-up stains/stench. While it may not have mattered to the rest of you what my ass looked like, I'm quite sure the aged milk oder and white splotches all over my shirts offended someone. Heck, even my ever so sweet husband came home once in the early months and had the audacity to ask me if I had any shirts left without spit up on them. Lets just say he's alive today, barely. Oh, and if any of you care, my rear end is back to normal size and my shirts are stench and stain free.

6) No one cares what your house looks like, they're just here to see the baby- First of all, I care what my house looks like whether company comes or not. Its bad enough they have to smell the sweet scent of curdled milk all over my shoulder as they give me a hug, but now they have to walk through the door into a pig sty too? Secondly, thanks for killing any confidence that maybe someone would come to my sty of a house because they wanted to see me, and then the cute kid in the corner.