Best Weekly Conversation: Drunken Mistakes

Kyra: What's that? *pointing to Jeremy's tribal tattoo across his shoulder blades*
Me: That's Daddy's drunken mistake.
Kyra: I want a drunken mistake!
Jer and Myself: *not stifling laughter very well*
Jer: No drunken mistakes for you until you're 38
Kyra: But I want one!

Pure Genius

That's right. You're looking at, er, reading, the musings of a pure genius.

Today, I, pure genius, took Kyra to the beach. I slathered her up in some SPF50 sunscreen and sent her on her way to play.

I sat in the sun from noon until two. Just sat there. Yakking it up with a girl friend. Baking. And now I'm paying for it.

Because I'm a genius.

3 Things..... Meme

I've been quite busy lately having my mother in town and all. We've ran around the Mason Dixon Line doing things like visiting the Zoo, picking strawberries, canning strawberry jam (okay, not so much me but I did watch my mom do the canning), traveling to Busch Gardens and Colonial Williamsburg, eating really bad-for-you food at the Strawberry Festival and watching the Amtrak trains come and go with Kyra as we picked up and dropped off my mother.

And now I'm tired and brain dead all over again.

So thanks to Jennifer, I have something easy to post about! More useless information I know you were all dying to know about yours truly!

3 Places I Go All the Time
-the zoo
-Kyra's tumbling class
-the grocery store

3 People Who Email Me
-Military.com
-DSW Shoes
-the penis enlargement people

3 Favorite Places I Like to Eat
-McDonald's- seriously, the fruit and yogurt parfait and french fry combination off the dollar menu has been yummy in my tummy lately
-Subway- mmm... I heart Subway!
-Panara Bread- soups, salads, sandwiches? Who can go wrong with that? And their lemonade? Ahhh...

3 Places I would rather be right now
-the Sunshine State
-the Sunshine State
-our own dream house on 10+ acres of tree covered land in the Sunshine State

3 Projects I would like to get started
-Project get back into my size 6 pants
-Project lets get the fuck out of the Navy already
-Project send Jeremy to common sense/sensitivity training school

3 People who might do this
-Lindsey
-Lisa
-CJ

3 TV Shows I could watch over and over
-John and Kate Plus 8
-Little People Big World
-Ghost Hunters

He Deserves the Abuse

Kyra: I jump on you, Daddy?
Jeremy: No.
Kyra: Are you hurt?
Jeremy: No.
Kyra: Then I jump on you!
Jeremy: Daddy doesn't want you to jump on him.
Kyra: I stand on you, Daddy?
Jeremy: No, don't stand on Daddy.
Kyra: *stands up* I standing on you, Daddy!
Me: Now jump on him Kyra!

She did. I laughed. She laughed. Jeremy stifled a laugh.

Its always good times when teaching her to abuse her father.

Stupid Penguin Book

Kyra: Read me this book Mommy!
Me: No, not that boooook.... That book is horrible. Can you find another book?
Kyra: No, Mommy. Read me this horrible book!

And we read it. Twice. Because that's what a good Mommy does- even when the book is horrible.

Car Maitnance = A Man's Job

Jeremy told me today for the 800,000,000 time that my oil is 3000 miles past its scheduled change and that I NEED to get it changed.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't car maintenance listed under a man's job?

Aside from that, we take my car to the dealership to get the oil changed because we enjoy paying way too much money for such things. The last item on my list of things to do today is not to lug my kid to the dealership and attempt to entertain her for 1-4 hours while the Ford people take their sweet little time draining my oil pan. I'd really rather stick my finger in a light socket.

I pointed this out to him today. For which he said I should just ask one of my friends to follow me down there while I drop my car off, then haul my ass around town, then wait with me and my off spring until Ford feels like calling me to tell me the job is done, then hauling my ass right back down to the dealership and stay in the car with my kid who probably won't have a nap and will thus completely forget her manners so that I may wait to be helped by some fat slob behind the counter to recognize that Oh, there's a person waiting here tapping her foot in a testy manner because she might just have better things to do then wait for me to stop chatting up This Dude on the latest and greatest towing packages we can add to This Dude's truck.

Not to mention that I just seem to forget until I'm either in the car traveling to another expected appointment or its the end of the pay period and, frankly, we just don't have the money until next paycheck.

And then the vicious cycle starts all over again.

When I also pointed out to Jeremy that he was the one who, two Wednesday's ago, stated he was going to follow me down the dealership two Saturday's ago so we may drop off the car and have it's oil changed and guess what? He forgot. As did I.

But, hey, its okay that he forgets this kind of stuff because he works all day and can't be bothered to remember such trivial things about my car.

I held my breath to remind him that I've been keeping my womanly tasks in check. He has yet to run out of food, dishes or clean underwear.

A Woman's Job

Jeremy informed me today that folding clothes was woman's work.

This is the same guy who no longer does the dishes or wipes the counter tops that he destroys or clean the bathroom.

He also doesn't empty his own lunch box, makes his own breakfast, lunch or supper.

Nor does he vacuum the floors, take out the trash, dust the furniture or do the laundry.

Apparently all that stuff must be woman's work too.

But I'm tired of complaining to him. I'm done begging him for his help. And I'm over hearing about how tired he is every night but manages to have enough energy to muster a 2+ hour computer game session because that is how he relaxes. Laying on the couch with me watching mindless television is apparently too much work for him.

I even asked him yesterday to just be with me and he declined stating playing his game is how he relaxes. Yep, I'm #1, most important person in his life. Don't you wish we could stand in my shoes?

So I'm turning over a new leaf. Let him go to work then come home, give the kid a bath and, after we put her to bed, hop on the computer for the next several hours. I will not utter another word of disapproval in his direction.

I guess its time I get back to doing the 1950s version of a woman's job. All the work, none of the thanks because, apparently, this is my lot in life.

I really hate how he, sometimes, makes me feel like my life is meaningless.

Practice Makes Perfect

Kyra has been practicing really hard at her drummer skills. Let me know if you think she's should stick to the Alligator Xylophone or if the Pots and Pans are totally her thing.

Enjoy!

Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

The Little Miss has let me sleep in this morning until 9:10. I know, I'm amazed too. I keep thinking I hear angels singing in my ear, ever so soft and faint.

I'm as awake and refreshed as a knew baby bunny. And! Its not raining. Seriously good news. I was just about to call Noah and ask him how that damned yacht was coming along and when we could all start to board.

Now that I'm all bright eyed and bushy tailed, I think we'll actually make something of our day.

Tumbling Class Without the Tumbling- Take 2

Today I forked over the cash. Every bit of my penny pinching self ached as I signed the check for that large amount of money.

Then the class started. Kyra, again, sat patiently and waited her turn. Silently, somberly watching the other kids run the obstacle courses, clapping with the rest as the other children successfully returned to the silver line and took a seat. When her name was called and the instructor asked if she was ready this look came over her face. Pure excitement. A great, big, wide smile. A glowing about her eyes. A quick and chirping "Yeah!" as she pranced, yes pranced, her way through the obstacle course.

The look on her face alone was worth the price I paid.

We came home. We made a spaghetti lunch. We read 4 books. We put together 4 puzzles, 2 of them three times. And we laid on the couch and fell asleep at 1 in the afternoon without any arguments, tantrums or squeals of objection.

While I only slept an hour because, lets face it, she is her father's child and thus a furnace when sleeping, the point is she slept for 3 1/2 hours.

3 point 5 hours of sleep. In one afternoon.

May God bless the creators of this tumbling class. Anyone or anything that can delight and entertain my kid for one hour, thus making her a happy kid and me a happy mommy is truly deserving of my money. Even if it is a larger amount then I wanted to spend.

3 1/2 hours of an easy nap time is totally worth $113.

Needed: Good Night of Sleep

I have just been too tired to write. It isn't like there's nothing to write about, I'm just so darn tired I can't think strait.

This is how it's been the last 5 days...

-Jeremy is like a fucking furnace when he sleeps. A red hot furnace that is just on fire. But that's not even the worst part. We have to have a fan pointed directly at us, on full blast creating a wind tunnel effect in my ears. Jeremy, meanwhile, has to flip-n-flop, toss-n-turn and huff-n-puff because he's too hot.

Um, can you try not sleeping under the down blanket then?

He doesn't take the hint. I end up buying a thin little blanket for our bed. Entire process repeats itself only this time I freeze my little tu'kus off because I don't have a down blanket to hide under anymore.

- Several mornings this week Kyra has decided 6:30 is a good time to start our day because *whispering* "Mommy. Mommy? Mr. Sunshine awake. See? Mr. Sunshine awake. I need to watch TV."

- When Kyra isn't waking me up at 6:30 she's instead waking me up at 3, 3:15, 4, and again at 4:30 because she either has to go potty (and when I take her she does nothing) or is scared of the Cookie Monster. No, not the Sesame Street character. Her Cookie Monster is the equivalent of your Boogie Man.

- With Kyra waking up 18 times a night the dogs too are up 23 times a night, hopping on my side of the bed trying to covey to me Is it breakfast time? Is it time to eat? I'm hungry. Can we go outside? I think I could use a pee break right now. Why do you keep telling us to go back to bed when you're the one getting up and down all night?

The funny but not so funny part about all of this is Jer comes home most days complaining about how tired he is and how hard he's working pushing papers all day and damn it, I had the mid watch and I'm tired!

Ha! I wish I could complain about a few paper cuts and working 4 hours in the middle of the night every 4 days. Must be nice.

Dressing Herself

Kyra dressed herself today.
She was so proud of herself.
Parading into the bathroom nonchalantly, walking up her step stool to brush her hair telling me "I dessed myseff en now I buss my hair."

How Much Is $113 Worth to You?

Kyra went to her first tumbling class today.

Well, first "trail class" anyway.

She had fun. She ran, jumped, climbed, painted and had her hand stamped when it was all said and done with.

Did you notice anything missing? No? How about there was not a bit of tumbling involved? Except for the kids tripping and falling over their own feet but I hardly count that when the class is called Tumbles Creates.

Oh, but, here's the real kicker. Kyra absolutely LOVED the class. She sat patiently, waited for her turn, when she was confused she didn't throw a tantrum and the painting with her hands today was just the icing on the cake. To top it off, she was complimented by all the staff when we left about how well she listened and followed directions. "She's much more advanced then two and a half," they said. I was a proud mother.

Here's the kicker. They want $113 for their next 7 week session.

1 day a week.

45 minutes a day.

7 weeks.

113 dollars.

For 1 child.

And I not only have to show up but stick around. For that price I'd at least expect them to send us overworked Mommies down the street to get our nails done free of charge. But no, none of that.

So, now I'm torn.

Kyra loved the class. I loved the structure and creativeness of the class- even with the lack of tumbling involved. And I was totally prepared to shell out the 50 or so dollars I expected to pay. But twice that? Gah!

The best part of this Tumble Creates class... Kyra went down for her nap at 1:30 today, with out a tantrum thrown in for good measure- and fell asleep!

113 dollars is starting to sound so very worth it.

What'd'ya think?

**remember, I am not cheap but like to think myself to be reasonable. Does this even sound reasonable or am I just on cloud nine because my kid hasn't thrown a significant tantrum in the last 40 hours even though, yes, I realize 11 of those hours were spent with her sleeping and yesterday she watched Monsters, Inc. twice and every other second of the day I gave her my utmost attention because I was going to be damned if I had another day like Tuesday where she was just lucky to be alive when I calmly tucked her in bed at 6:30 as she was kicking and screaming in a very loud and very 2ish manner?