The Nutcracker

Jer and I have finally entered the 21st Century and got cell phones. Jeremy gave my phone number its very own ring tone. The Nutcracker.

Think he's trying to say something indirectly?

Ducks Gone Wild

Who knew the ducks were going to be the stars of the show at the zoo today?

Suburbia

I made a brief trip back to the Bible Belt yesterday.

It was only for 12.5 hours dear friends who live there, don't get your panties in a wad... Most of the time I was busy sleeping the midnight hours away.

None the less, I haven't been back in almost a year and, damn, if things haven't turned into Suburbia. When I graduated high school the Bible Belt was nothing more then a bunch of country folks living in the sticks. In my 12.5 hours back, there were new roads, subdivisions, and churches.

Seriously, does the Bible Belt really needs 4 more non-denominational chuches?

When I graduated high school I yearned for something bigger. Post Kyra, I yearn for something smaller- but the place I once called home isn't something smaller anymore.

I think when we're finished with this Navy business I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope Jeremy gets a job in a town that doesn't have all that hustle and bustle.

And, with any luck, no Wal-Mart. You know once Wal-Mart comes into town things are only going down hill from there.

My Brief Stint In Hell

You all should be very, very, proud of yours truly. Remember how I don't drive when there's even a hint of snow? Ya, well, mother nature got me and got me good. According to the New England weather men it was due to snow Tuesday afternoon- at 3pm. My ass was to be hot tailing it out of town by Noon. I held up my end of the deal.

Wanna know when it started snowing? 1:30. Just as I hit bumper to bumper, stop and go traffic in New York City.

I fucking hate your guts NYC.

And once I exited NYC for the great state of New Jersey.... oh, ya, snow starts sticking to the roads.

Thanks NJ, now you too can burn in hell with NYC.

So to ease my tensed white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, I started documenting my trip in pictures.

In a totally safe manner of course.

See the white stuff in the road ways? That's call God Hates Me.

But then? I thought it was just a very cruel joke He was playing on me when two hours into NJ it started raining- and rain, well, rain I can do.

Off to the Mason Dixon Line!

Oh, but then, yes, after I get all excited about the rain, God plays another mean joke on me and starts producing ice. All around me, all I can see is ice. Oh, and spin outs from the dumb yuppies who drove to fast.

Idiots. What the hell were they doing on the road in an ice storm anyhow? Didn't they know an inexperienced driver snapping pictures was on the road trying to move her family down south?

But we made it alive and in one piece. I signed the lease papers, unpacked our vehicles, and attempted to turn on our heat. However, here at the Mason Dixon Line, you can not turn on your heat in your husband's name even when you have in your posession a power of attorney to do your husband's bidding.

Kyra and I had one cold night, but thanks to a good friend, we were supplied with lots and lots of blankets to try and keep warm.

When we woke up in the morning we found this... a very slight dusting of snow that caused schools and business to be delayed for 2 hours. It was at that point I knew we were back in the south because New England would laugh at the sight delaying school for this.

We've sucessfully made it to the Mason Dixon Line. Pictures to follow tomorrow, however, in honor of living in the South again, here was my very first glass of fresh, yummy, savory sweet tea.

Mmmmm... God Bless Sweet Tea.

Boxed In

Yesterday was the last night we'll spend in this house. There will be more days, but no more nights.

I was prepared for more nights. Totally and completely prepared. Until Kyra decided it would be great fun to start ripping the identifying stickers off the moving boxes. Then, after tearing the stickers off became boring she though it would be HUGE fun to start playing in the chemical boxes. You know, the opened box of cleaning agents I'll be using in heavy supply for the next few days. Yep, that was the next box Kyra decided would be an excellent choice to play in.

What's that? I should have left out some of her toys? Oh, silly me. I did!

Toys which include, but are not limited to, baby dolls, strollers and $50 worth of BRAND NEW BOOKS for the child. But apparently none of those are all that much fun when you're boxed in.

So I gave Jeremy the option. We could either get a hotel room for the rest of our stay in New England or he could choose to lose his sanity while I scream at him in frustration because Kyra is into everything she's not supposed to touch.

Its always better to scream at your husband then your kid, I like to say.

Even still, the house is being emptied as I type this. Soon we'll have a hollow shell and nothing left to do but clean it until is shines and sparkles again.

Ah, I'll miss this house. The neighbors were quiet- most of the time. All the dogs were friendly. And I had a kitchen with all the counter space I need to make my Thanksgiving dinners.

All that is left is one full day of cleaning, one trip to the airport to pick up a bunch of sailors, and one last Toddler Time at the library for Kyra, then we're off to the land of Sweet Tea.

**exasperated sigh**

Quick Question

Say you have movers coming to put all your household goods into lots and lots of various size boxes on Thursday, when would you start separating the things you are taking on the move- today or 7am Thursday morning?

And how late of a start do you have to get before it's considered procrastination?

You Can Call Me The Potty Training Queen

Oh ya, that's right. Need your kid potty trained in 3 days or less? Send 'em to me, The Potty Training Queen.

Although I say that now, tomorrow morning will be the true test of whether or not this curly haired mop head (which, by the way you can totally blame on me because I have no idea what to do with curls) will be part of the uber exclusive Pee Pee in the Potty Club.

What do you have to do to get in this club you ask? Why, you have to run around without any bottoms on until you've proven you know how to use the potty in it's proper intended manner. When this has been accomplished you earn the right to wear panties.

Little Miss Rachel here, has earned the right to wear her panties today. Tomorrow morning, if we make it through church services and a proper hand off to her parents she will have officially entered The Club.

Just remember.... it is always the toddler's choice whether or not they stay in The Club. Lets hope Rachel makes the right decision.

With that... Good job Rachel, you've earned your panties!

Dear God,

Please don't make me eat my words in front of her mother. I'd appreciate it if you help me tomorrow the same way you helped with Kyra's first of many outings after joining The Club.

Much love,

Slave to the Mommy Trade

Things I've Come To Realize in the Last Two Days

~ I could totally have had twins... so long as Jeremy was not in the Navy and I could have him home every night for moral support.

~ Having two girls in the same bedroom creates a longer wind down period for them to fall asleep.

~ I am so very very glad I potty trained Kyra before she was 2-1/2. The older they get the stronger willed they are- train 'em early folks, train 'em early.

~ Potty training a strong willed 2-1/2 year old is completely possible, so long as you can count to 10. Over and over again.

~ I seem to get more housework done when Kyra has a live in playmate. Who knew?

~ Lots of house work needs to be accomplished within the next week.

~ My house is going to be 100% empty in exactly one week.

~I will be moving to the Mason Dixon Line in a week and a half.

~ Sweet tea will be on every menu of every restaurant below the Mason Dixon Line.

~ God Bless sweet tea.